The centrality of sex (normative) is one of the biggest problems we have in relationships. We are taught to use it as a criterion for many of the main decisions in our lives: who to live with, who to raise children with, who to travel with, hang out with, etc. Sex is often used as a criterion for how healthy a relationship would be, it is used to measure how much someone loves another person or not: if you love me, don't have sex with anyone else, etc. Due to misogyny, racism, transphobia and other oppressions, many people start to pretend that they like and enjoy it, either because they were taught to please, or because they want to convince themselves that what they abdicated so much for in life is really worth it. And they begin to resent it when that sex decreases in frequency, forgetting that maybe they miss something they didn't even like that much. Perhaps this also comes from learning that our value in the world lies in how much we are sexually desired, as if our company, our presence were very little without this factor. Does anyone who claims to love us deeply, but subjects that love exclusively to sexual practice, really love us? Would she still want to live in the same house, spend holidays and birthdays with her? Would I accompany you to the hospital, to a test, to a funeral if I didn't have sex with you? Perhaps at this point we begin to remember friendship, which many people define as love without sex, but there is no point in making this friendship positive if it is still defined around sex (albeit because of its absence). Decolonization lies in breaking the binary between love and friendship, removing from sex this power to define the quality of bonds. A relationship may or may not have sex (in its various possibilities): both prohibiting it in advance and assuming it are part of the same monoculture. How revolutionary it would be if we managed to practice a relational craft without fitting people into predisposed places! Neither love nor friend, accomplices of decolonization.