What is a Submissive? In the context of BDSM, a submissive (or "sub") is a person who consensually chooses to give up control to another person (known as the dominant) in a sexual relationship or practice. Characteristics of a Submissive: Consent: Submission is always voluntary and based on mutual consent. Surrender of Control: The submissive gives up control to the dominant, whether in specific activities, for a set period of time, or in an ongoing relationship. Boundaries and Safety: Even when giving up control, the submissive sets clear boundaries (called "hard limits" and "soft limits") and uses safe words to protect her well-being. Pleasure in Service: Many submissives find emotional and sexual satisfaction in pleasing the dominant, taking orders, or following pre-established rules. Exploring Power Dynamics: The submissive may find pleasure in the exchange of power and in playing a role of surrender or obedience, which may be a contrast to her everyday life.