Pull up that chair...yes, that's the left one! I don't want to get up... Cigar? Just don't swallow...let it burn! Vodka with lemon? Help yourself! It's fucked up...everything, the world, the entire universe...she could be with me, but she isn't...and maybe I'll spend the rest of my life thinking about what it would have been like if she had been! I wish I had her to know it's not her...but without that, she'll always be perfect, unreal! On the one hand, I even want this... the opportunity to not have her and give her her deserved title of Goddess, perfect! The fear of having her and seeing her as just a human... and worse, still human and full of flaws, seeing her perfect!! I never felt that... what would that feeling be? I confess that I'm afraid of feeling.. something I can't rationalize.. that gets out of control! What if I'm not ideal for her? I'm almost sure of that... that alone would explain the ways of destiny. hunt the course of your ways!!