______The Little Saint of Pau Oco______ When I was in the eighth grade of elementary school, I stole a book from my school library. But it wasn't just any book, it was a book from the +18 shelf. I realized that on TV, programs that had this marking (+18) always had something forbidden for me at that age. So, if a bookshelf has this information, it can only have what I want to know, but they don't allow it... Years later I discovered that in the early hours of the morning on Band, they were showing +18 movies, so I started waking up at dawn to watch them in secret. Now that I was of legal age, living alone, working, in college; I bought my first notebook and discovered the fantastic world of online chat. And there I could do everything "wrong" I wanted. I'm talking about talking to strangers about any taboo subject; trying to see, be seen, ask questions... More recently I created this profile here, a parallel, hidden reality, where I can experience the freedom I had never been given before. This is where I feel 100% myself. For many years I was the perfect little girl, the saint, above all suspicion, but living in secret who I also was, but repressed. I dealt with it well, I like the idea of secrecy, of secrets, but I got tired of duality, even though I know it is intrinsic to life. I was never a saint. I wanted to be. I tried! But self-knowledge is such a crazy journey that you discover that you came trying to be what they wanted you to be, and not truly who you are. As my psychoanalyst once told me: You could only BE who you are, on the basis of transgression, in secret. Either you are smart and a slut, or hot and dumb. Either a saint, or promiscuous. Roles, demands, belonging, acceptance, conventions. LAZINESS! We will only be complete when we truly know who we are and accept it, integrating light and shadow, right and wrong, the saint and the whore. Finally, the dichotomy, the fragmentation of being and giving way to who one is in essence. In my Fan Club you will see everything that I am, in its entirety. I will understand the shock, the fright, lol, I like it, I admit. "Blessed be the thief who stole the hat, which once prevented me from feeling the heat of the sun on my face." Khalil Gibran #fanclub