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One of the things I learned is that you must live in spite of. Although, one must eat. Although, one should love. Although, it must die. It is often even ourselves that pushes us forward. It was the despite that gave me an unsatisfied anguish that was the creator of my own life. It was despite that I stopped on the street and looked at you while you waited for a taxi. And right away I want you, that body of yours that isn't even beautiful, but it's the body I want. But I want it whole, with my soul too. So it's okay if you don't come, I'll wait as long as it takes.
... I'm looking, I'm looking. I'm trying to understand. Trying to give someone what I experienced and I don't know who, but I don't want to keep what I experienced. I don't know what to do with what I experienced, I'm afraid of this deep disorganization.